Hey Beloved❤️

I hope you are having a nice weekend and unlike me, you enjoyed your weekend at an Owanbe dancing your fila or gele off instead of typing away at your system while sipping a bottle of Maltina. I mean, that’s what I get for bailing out on the first Owanbe I was supposed to be at this weekend. But anyway, we meeuve. This is going to be short.

So, I took a social media break.

It was not one I voluntarily walked into. It was a break I had to take as I wasn't in the right headspace and decided to pare down distractions and stressors. Twitter was the first to take the heat of course. It is the eternal shouty and crowded place that I need to stay away for at least 15 days. I reduced my WhatsApp use to absolutely necessary interactions. I didn’t fully go off Instagram as it is the only social media site where my feed is curated such that there is almost zero negativity, criticisms, and whatnots. It’s just people doing cool stuff, beautiful landscapes, food, art, and makeup I love.

When people go off SM, they come back saying “It changed my life. I have gained so much clarity. I was so productive I ran a marathon in a day, did yoga, did a week’s worth meal prep and defeated Muhammad Ali, and even built a mansion”. Apparently, our wirings are different. I wish I could say “oh, I was more productive, I had an epiphany, I did this all that” but nehhhh. I had nothing as drastic as that.

The major thing that changed for me was the peace and silence off social media. I didn't have to be exposed to or engage in discourse that would stress me neither did I have to keep tabs on people. My morning ritual changed from obsessively checking and clearing notifications to just checking my emails and getting out of bed. Because I do most of my work in my room, I still got back to my bed soon after, but it wasn’t with my phone being an extension of my appendage and it wasn’t because I needed to respond to tags on Twitter & Instagram or messages on Whatsapp. Overall, it seemed like the world was slowing down. The day seemed to run on for longer, and I now had more time on my hands to do stuff.

Another thing that has changed is that I have less inclination to share with the internet. During the first few days, I had the urge to tweet (or post on my WhatsApp status) whatever interesting thing happened to me or my sisters did but because I knew I was bound to get replies and I wasn’t interested in holding conversations, I held back. However, over time, it just seemed unnecessary to put these things up on my feed. I asked myself the point of doing this in the first place, and it seemed what I have against it isn’t the sharing in itself, but the stress of having to respond to everyone who passed comment on it. This is a prelim realization and something I have not fully processed as I write this.

I also have less inclination to know what's going on in other people's lives. Usually, I have near accurate intuition predicting what's going on in someone's life going by pictures they post, backgrounds, or memes, and I was always intrigued in seeing how accurate I was by asking them if my intuition is right, but for the past 10-12 days, I had not been overly interested in that as well.

No, I am not on my way to being a recluse, and it is probable that once I fully get back on social media, I’ll be drawn into the vortex of it and fall into old patterns, but right now, this stillness and peace is calming and I am choosing to stay in it for a little while.

I know a lot is going on out there that I should be aware of, but I’m okay not knowing now. Plus, the important ones trickle down to me anyway.

Gist

I have been away from home since Friday and this may or may not be an attempt at bailing out on an Owanbe I was invited to this weekend.

Since my last mail, I have been mostly indoors with a few choice outings with friends (and at some point, alone). The shawarma tour I wanted to have didn’t happen, but I had the most amazing time out with a friend two days ago so it’s a much better alternative. There’s a spot in Ibadan I’ve been wanting to try out for a while, thankfully I’ll be there with a couple of friends today so yaaayyyy💃

As I said, I wasn’t overly productive during my social media break, but I did binge the first two seasons of Gossip Girl, saw a baseball biopic featuring Chadwick Boseman, and finished a couple of books I had been procrastinating on. My latest for Meeting of Minds is out and you can read it here. I got a couple of rejections (and silences) over the past few days so tyayyz. I got an acceptance as well, but I am not interested in the bit anymore so…

I am toying with the idea of starting a thing but I’m still in the ‘conquering self-doubt’ phase but I do hope to go along with it.

This particular newsletter reads more like a journal entry than my usual entries but I hope you enjoy it. If you are looking to exchange a few mails with me about this issue or any subject of your choice, you can always reply to this. I enjoy hearing back from my newsletter fam.

Till next time,

Ciao, Beloved❤️

PS: It is possible that schools might be reopening soon. If that happens, the delivery of newsletter might be erratic but i’ll do my best to run it as my schedule permits. Just a heads-up.

The Urge to Shalaye

#TUTS14: The Truth About my Social Media…